The Gift and Burden of Empathy
“Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear.”
I know that personality profiles like Myers-Briggs are no longer in vogue, but I still believe they have value. Part of what we learn from the Myers-Briggs Personality Profile is that some people are naturally more attuned to empathy toward others. Writer Zat Rana enlightens us, noting that “Empathy is one of the defining traits of mammals.” Even dolphins feel empathy. There are several stories of dolphins coming to the rescue of people attacked by sharks. Dolphins risk their lives to help human beings. Survival is instinctual for many animals, including dolphins. Yet, they sidestep their most powerful instinct to care for another species. Wow!
Rana continues by saying, “The reason most commonly cited for the development of empathy is parental care.” A parent needs to understand the body language and expressions of infants and children to provide proper care. Empathy is a gift that is part of the evolutionary process. But like all things, there can be too much of a good thing.
Empathy isn’t always a positive. Empathy is not fair. Whoever cries or expresses the best story gets the support, sometimes even when the less talented storyteller is in the right. Furthermore, if an empathetic person cannot feel empathy for a particular individual, they tend to blame that person. When empathetic persons cannot relate to another person, they tend to cast blame. Empathy can also cause a great deal of undue suffering. If one person empathized with everyone they came into contact with, that person would literally go insane. Empathy requires control and limits.
Rana concludes by saying, “True morality and true sensitivity are about how you care – your actions, your behaviors, and ultimately, your impact.” Empathy and other feelings without reason are dangerous. Empathy and reason need to be in balance for your life to be more honest and in control.
Today, pray for the wisdom to recognize the gift of empathy in your life. But also pray for the wisdom to know when to have empathy and when to defer to reason. Remember, your self-control and good mental health are important, and feelings should not be allowed to overwhelm you. When empathy and reason are in balance, your life is whole, and your relationships are healthier. Ask the Holy Spirit to provide the wisdom to bring balance to your mind and your heart. Then, you will serve God, others, and yourself in the best possible way.
