I Wanted to Crawl in a Hole
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness,’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
Last Saturday, I performed a funeral and made a terrible mistake, saying the deceased's spouse's name incorrectly. I was devastated and had to use every ounce of focus to finish getting through the service. Thankfully, the family was very kind and found humor in my mistake. I did not find the humor. I double-checked names and key facts, but I didn't recognize the name error. I took my mistake so hard that I was in jeopardy of not focusing properly on Sunday's service. So, I sat down and wrote out what I was feeling, then answered my thoughts as if I were counseling a friend rather than myself.
Each of us has a moment so painful that we wish we could push a button and go back in time, right before the mistake. I reminded myself that I am regularly in the public eye, and mistakes are inevitable. Often, when people make a mistake, it steamrolls. We are so focused on the mistake that we remain unable to give enough attention to the next issue, and the mistakes compound. To break the cycle of mistakes and move forward properly, I had to address my feelings and the situation directly.
I was fortunate that the family was so supportive, so I didn't have the guilt of disappointing them or the added responsibility of trying to reconcile the relationship. Instead, I could focus on my unconscious beliefs. What makes me think I am above errors? Yes, this was a glaring error and one I rarely, if ever, make. Still, I am human and am not above shortcomings. My error was not intentional. I was able to maintain control, and the rest of the service was meaningful, focusing on the deceased's life and God's love. Finally, there was no lasting emotional or spiritual damage.
I am sharing a mistake to illustrate how we navigate moments of embarrassment that shape our identity. The most profound influence occurred when I reminded myself that I am an imperfect child of God. God has forgiven far worse than a mistake with a name. God helps us embrace our imperfections by offering divine grace and mercy when we need it the most. Today, think about your moment of frustration or embarrassment. Consider your process of healing. Reflect on how God's love and support for you enhance how you view yourself. Finally, treat yourself the way a good friend would support you, and care for yourself in the same way. Laugh at yourself, forgive yourself, and remember that tomorrow is another day with new blessings.
