Faithful Change Is a Process
“Brothers and sisters, do not be children in your thinking; rather, be infants in evil, but in thinking be adults.”
We all know the story of David and Bathsheba. We learned it in Bible school when we were kids. But why did David do it? We were told he had a momentary lustful moment, seeing Bathsheba and being overcome by his lust. But David didn’t just lose his head and act on impulse. No, he planned a process for having sex with Bathsheba. It was a complex plan that included the death of her husband, Uriah. How did such a faithful and respected man lose his way so dramatically?
David, at least at that point in his life, did not have adequate Emotional Intelligence. He was immature and couldn’t control his urges or desires enough to see the big picture. If David were here today, I would have him read Nick Wignall’s article, “4 Questions that Will Improve Your Emotional Intelligence,” which introduces the following four questions: 1. What are the facts? 2. What’s my emotional dashboard telling me? 3. What’s my story? 4. What do I really want? If David had addressed those four questions when faced with Bathsheba, his response would probably have been very different.
What are the facts? Bathsheba was gorgeous but married. David was king. David was powerful, but he couldn’t just bed a married woman. 2. What’s my emotional dashboard telling me? For a person of faith, the “dashboard” is the conscience, guided by the Holy Spirit. I believe David had a conscience, but he failed to listen to it. If he had, the Spirit would have stopped him or made him so uncomfortable, but he would have had to face it. 3. What is my story? If David reviewed his story and remembered how God blessed him, he might have responded more faithfully. Finally, 4. What do I really want? Did David want a roll in the hay with Bathsheba at the expense of his relationship with God, possibly at the expense of his kingdom, and at the expense of his legacy? Only someone with an immature Emotional Intelligence would make the decision he made. Thankfully for David, God provides grace, forgiveness, and love even when we haven’t earned it.
Today, ask God to give you sophia, “wisdom.” Wisdom includes mature emotional intelligence. Take some time to review some of the good and difficult moments in your life. Review each of those situations while asking Wignall’s four questions. When you do that, you will probably see maturity and immaturity in your decision-making. It is uncomfortable, yet affirming. But, ultimately, it is a great learning experience that brings mature emotional intelligence. An intelligence Jesus lived up to, and we can only strive for. Do not beat yourself over the immature moments. Simply learn from them and continue challenging your motivations as you move forward. David’s legacy was more than Bathsheba, and your legacy can be more than just our immature moments. Emotional Intelligence brings joy to one’s life and will bring about an Advent, or new beginning, to your life.
