How to Address Political Opposites in Your Life?
“Do not speak harshly to an older man, but speak to him as to a father, to younger men as brothers, to older women as mothers, to younger women as sisters-with absolute purity.”
Sadly, we are living in times when extended families are ghosting, or worse, expressing hatred due to their political differences. Lifelong friendships are also dashed on the rocks of political propaganda. Most of us are floundering as we seek to find ways to engage appropriately before ties are permanently cut. I received help from Lauryn Higgins' HuffPost article, "This Is the 1 Thing Cult Experts Want You To Do When Talking To Your MAGA Relatives." She begins with great advice. If you care enough to engage with them, you've had moments when they've been good to you and you've been caring in return. That is worth your patience and care. See them as more than their politics.
In discussing the topic with psychologists, she asks the reader to "Remember who they were before." You may shake your head at what you consider ignorant, intentionally hurtful statements, but their rude comments alone are not their entire being. Recall a specific moment when they did something loving and compassionate. When you humanize the person by separating them from their rhetoric, you can find a reason to put up with their insulting words.
Next, Higgins calls us to "Come prepared with your own gentle rebuttal." Healthy relationships require healthy conversations. If you are not prepared to respond honestly and with clarity, you are left with nothing but fight or flight. Unprepared, you fight by lashing out at their insensitivity. Flight means throwing up your hands and choosing to walk away, rather than making it worse. The healthiest alternative is to be ready with your talking points. Be honest and share in a calm, supportive voice. Phrase your points without calling out the one you are addressing. Instead, clarify your statements and why you believe they are essential. Sharing respectfully is the only way to potentially get the other person to listen and perhaps ponder your understanding.
Finally, Higgins challenges the reader to "Know your own triggers and theirs." If they remain obstinate, your hurt and frustration can bleed out in your speech. Before you visit with the person, naming your triggers and theirs will help you catch yourself before you say something that will drive you further apart. Gently confronting another person's political aggression requires a courageous, open heart. Invite God's Spirit to help you control your feelings and organize your thoughts. Do not expect reconciliation in one visit, or worse, that you will persuade the other person to your side. Instead, try to agree to disagree with respect and an open mind and heart. Trust God to make healing and reconciliation a reality.
