Your Goal is Your Loved Ones
“Those who trouble their households will inherit wind, and the fool will be servant to the wise. ”
When I started seminary, I was only 21 years old. God has always had a sense of humor with my life. I attended McCormick Theological Seminary, which made second-career students the norm before it was the norm in most seminaries. I was the youngest student in the seminary, and several of the students were older than my mother. It took a great deal of time, energy, and focus to keep up with all the brilliance and life experiences of the other students.
Sadly, too often my work took such focus that I had to ignore other important aspects of my life. Even after Jill and I were married, I often put her on the back burner while I strived to keep up academically. While Hannah was a baby, I worked full-time in a congregation and finished my doctorate early. Once ordained, older ministers bragged about working 60 to 70 or more hours per week, as if it were a badge of honor. Overwork negatively impacts our personal health, and family responsibilities are destined to suffer. Shame on my older colleagues and me for accepting this imbalance in life.
Dr. Benjamin Hardy, PhD, in his article, “You Can Do More Good Than You Think,” leaves us with a challenge: “Never let a goal to be accomplished become more important than a person to be loved.” Busyness should never replace intimacy. Love and compassion must include our familial relationships, which require time commitments. If we serve God at their expense, we fail in our service. It took me far too long to learn that lesson.
Today, reflect on the balance, or imbalance, in your life. Do not do this with guilt. That will only leave one frozen in place. Honestly reflect on the decisions and sacrifices made in life. Doing so will help us decide who we are and who we wish to become at this next stage in our lives. Pray through your reflections and decisions so God can assist you. Sometimes sacrifices should be made, even at the expense of those we love, but it should never become the norm. Let your loved ones be your goal.
