The Key to a Lasting Relationship
“Those who say, ‘I love God,’ and hate their brothers and sisters, are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen.”
Kris Gage is one of those writers I gravitate toward. An article she wrote several years ago, “How to Make a Relationship Last,” was particularly enlightening. Gage insists communication is not the way to a lasting relationship. She gives examples of communication that actually hurts relationships. For example, “There are moments I regret marrying you,” or “I truly and deeply loathe you sometimes.” I’m not a therapist, but this kind of communication seems counterproductive to a lasting relationship.
Gage insists that we often base our communication on feelings. Feelings are too time-sensitive. Feelings are about the moment; a marriage is about a lifetime. Rather than feelings, Gage states that a relationship is about a “choice.” Choiceis the key to a lasting relationship. Any relationship, including a marriage, will have moments when a couple will have negative feelings. In those moments, one hopes the relationship isn’t only based on feelings. God willing, we base our relationship on choice and commitment.
Today, pray for the relationships in your life. Then, continue your prayer by praying for your relationship with God. Throughout my ministry, I have watched too many people lose their faith because they based their relationship with God on feelings. When tragedy strikes, and they feel tormented, they curse God. Even our relationship with God requires more than feelings; it requires a choice, a commitment not dependent on feelings. Finally, make a point of letting those people in your life know you continue to commit to them. It may not sound romantic, but it is the most loving thing you could ever say! Oh yes, and don’t forget to let God know of your divine commitment as well!
