Imperfection as a Spiritual Tool
“Examine yourselves to see whether you are living in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not realize that Jesus Christ is in you?-unless, indeed, you fail to meet the test! ”
There are several lessons Christians can take from Alcoholics Anonymous. One example is a quote by A.A. founder, Bill Wilson, “Honesty gets us sober, but tolerance keeps us sober.” Honesty is the necessary first step that requires the alcoholic to address what they’ve avoided about themselves. But tolerance is essential to help the alcoholic, and all of us become sober, healthy, and whole. Wilson expected the alcoholic to focus their tolerance first on themselves, and then on others.
In their book, The Spirituality of Imperfection, Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham affirm that “When we accept ourselves in all our weakness, flaws, and failings, we can begin to fulfill an even more challenging responsibility: accepting the weakness, limitations and mixed-up-ed-ness of those we love and respect.” Like the A.A. requirement to honestly look at oneself, we develop our path to a compassionate life through honest reflection of our self-image. It is uncomfortable and even painful for most of us to consider our areas of weakness. It is even more challenging to acknowledge our flaws and failings, but the path to healing lies in embracing the discomfort. Naming these shortcomings is less than half the homework. The next step is to provide examples from various points in your life where you demonstrated your weaknesses, flaws, and failings. Finally, once you’ve made the uncomfortable connections, it is crucial to reflect on the impact those actions had on you and others.
When you’ve done the sensitive work of naming your uncomfortable moments, ask God to forgive you. Affirm God’s identity as one who is the giver and sustainer of divine grace and mercy. Reassert the theological affirmation that only Jesus lived the perfect life, and yet, that God still loves us and has a place for us in eternity. Pray for forgiveness and for the Holy Spirit to reaffirm your inner wholeness, so you become kinder and more accepting of yourself. Only when you are charitable to yourself can you be compassionate with others. Recognizing your weaknesses makes you more empathetic towards others. Now, we can see ourselves in their mistakes and shortcomings.
The spiritual practice of facing our imperfections opens the door to accepting and caring for others. The Spiritual life isn’t easy and isn’t always fun and games. Spiritual renewal transforms life, bringing meaning and easing emotional dissonance. It is too easy to make excuses and put off the work of faithful reflection. Notice those moments of anger and bitterness with family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers. When angst becomes a regular part of your emotional experience, it is time to engage in spiritual self-reflection, allowing you to bring respect and care for others again.
