Self-Awareness Creates Emotional Maturity
“Jesus wept.”
As I have shared in other venues, I appreciate Roy Oswald’s book The Emotional Intelligence of Jesus, because our faith and our emotional maturity are inextricably linked. In this Advent season, God is calling us to nurture our self-awareness and prepare for the coming Messiah. Our challenge is to determine the most meaningful ways of developing our self-awareness.
Oswald defines “self-awareness” as “the capacity to identify, moment by moment, the thoughts, emotions, and body sensations occurring within us.” Without self-awareness, our emotions cannot mature, and we are left reacting in unhelpful and destructive ways. Oswald continues, providing a psychological history lesson, confirming that “emotions were considered static that got in the way of rational thought.” The therapist’s goal was to straighten out loud, confusing emotions so that clearer, more rational thoughts could be conveyed. In the last quarter century, Oswald suggests, “Emotions and thoughts can distort each other.” Rather than fixing emotions so the rational is clear, we should reflect on how to address emotions and unpack our thoughts, so our thoughts and feelings align with our values.
Oswald rightly affirms that “Emotions are data that can assist us in making wise decisions.” Often, feelings are the mind’s way of expressing uncomfortable thoughts that we are not yet capable of expressing rationally. Jesus had feelings. For example, he cried at the death of his dear friend Lazarus. Yet, Jesus was also the master of his emotions. Pilate held Jesus’ life in his hands, yet Jesus answered Pilate’s questions calmly, with an eternal perspective. Even Jesus’ anger, turning over the moneychangers’ tables, was a calculated, visual response to injustice at the temple.
Faithful actions, with appropriate emotional responses, are central to faith in our Triune God. Like Jesus, we should embrace our emotions so we can laugh, mourn, and experience them all. Pray for the courage to use our intellect to reflect on our feelings. Ask the Holy Spirit for the wisdom to embrace our self-awareness so we can make wise decisions that will support others and honor our self-worth. When we reflect on our feelings and the reasons behind our actions, we do a better job of living our lives in a way that honors God.
