Meaning in Loss Through the Eyes of Naomi
One of the most effective ways to gain wisdom is to ponder your losses. Loss encompasses, but is not limited to, death, as well as relationships, professional issues, friendships, health, and many other moments of yearning. Reflecting on life’s losses is not easy. Focusing on pain can even be viewed as self-abuse. It becomes nonproductive when reflection becomes obsessive. Yet, when you reflect on loss as a tool for learning and gratitude, you can transform loss into a blessing.
One Biblical example of someone who faced her numerous losses only to gain wisdom and meaning is in the story of a middle-aged woman named Naomi. Naomi, in the Biblical book of Ruth, is Ruth’s mother-in-law. Naomi and her husband, Elimelech, experienced loss by having to leave their home in Bethlehem due to famine. You can imagine saying “goodbye” to friends and family as their loved ones scattered in search of food. Envision their tears, knowing they would probably never see each other again. If you’ve ever loved the land you live on, you know the ache of being forced to leave the identity of place.
After beginning anew in Moab, Naomi’s sons married Moabite women. Rather than remaining bitter about the move, Naomi embraced her new life, and her family grew. Then, her husband and both her sons died. Naomi, whose Hebrew name was “pleasant,” no longer felt right. Naomi, in her grief, asked others to call her Mara, which meant “bitter.” Naomi decided to return to Bethlehem but lovingly told her daughters-in-law to remain with their families in Moab. In that moment, Naomi felt like she had nothing left in life but loss.
Often, in our most profound moments of loss and despair, God shocks us into life. For Naomi, God shocked her with the sacrifice of her daughter-in-law Ruth. Ruth was unwilling to leave her mother-in-law. Instead of staying with family and friends, in a land she knew, Ruth was determined to embrace Naomi as her family and go with her to Bethlehem. In Bethlehem, Naomi created an opportunity to use Ruth to manipulate a man named Boaz into marrying Ruth, saving both women’s lives.
Ruth went to a threshing floor where she knew a drunken Boaz would be sleeping it off. Ruth and Boaz became sexually active, and Boaz then followed the Levitical law and married Ruth. Boaz reclaimed Elimelech’s property, and when Ruth gave birth, Naomi became the child’s nurse and assisted in his care. God continued to bless Naomi in perpetuity. How, you might ask? The newborn son would allow Naomi and Elimelech’s line to continue, making Naomi the great-great-grandmother of King David! Even in Naomi’s most despairing moment of loss, she was not alone, and her life’s story was not over.
Each one of us will have a Naomi moment, where all seems lost. Acknowledging loss is inevitable allows us to accept, prepare, and learn to trust in God, who can bless and renew our lives. For people of faith, this world is a lifelong preparation for loss and renewed trust in the divine. If we live in denial, by pretending that life will be one fun adventure after another, we will be ill-prepared and despairing when inevitable loss strikes. Do not waste your life ignoring and pretending. Instead, have the courage of Naomi, and keep moving forward, faithfully trusting that as long as we have breath in life, God’s plan for us continues.
God’s plan includes weekly worship, daily prayer, and Scripture. Yet, without regular, faithful care for others, we are left devoid of wisdom. In caring for others, we learn how to face loss and how to receive, as well as give. Naomi didn’t pull herself up by her own bootstraps. Instead, it took another person, Ruth, to lift her and give her a reason to live. Be courageous and face our limitations and fears. Learn by example how to trust God, so when life’s pain occurs, you will know where to turn and who to trust. Learning these lessons when life is less painful will give you the ability to grow and learn without panic or despair. Learn from Naomi, so your example can make a difference in your descendants’ lives.